Patience is probably one of those virtues most everybody could improve upon. At least it is for me. There are some great teachers for equanimity. Take traffic, for instance. Traffic is a measuring stick on how calmly I can take things. The ultimate test for me is coming back to Maui/HI from Switzerland. Driving through Paia, the town where I live on the island, in those first few days of adapting to the 11-hour time difference can be quite challenging.
As everyone knows, jetlag is the state of adjusting to another time zone, but it is also adjusting to another lifestyle. For me, it is the change from a busy, urban life in Swiss cities where people seem to be in a hurry all the time, wanting to go places – and fast, to the relaxed, laid-back Island life on Maui, where people seem to have endless time, not wanting to go anywhere.
Still, in my busy Swiss mode, I hop in the car to quickly run down to Mana-Foods to grab some groceries. It is only a two-minute drive. I tell my son Oliver and his fiancée Naomi with whom I will have dinner later that night, “I assume I will be back in 15 minutes.” Oliver gives me the ‘Oh-Mom, don’t you remember-Look’ and smiles at me. I don’t get it yet. Only when I drive down the bumpy Baldwin Drive and see that the cars are lined up as far up as the post office, I slowly wake up and realize, “Oh yes, I am back on Maui!” I check my watch. I will never make it in the promised 15 minutes. Now comes the test. How long does it take until I can give in and surrender?
I didn’t do so bad this year. For only a few seconds I felt my heart beat faster as my blood rushed through my body. And it was only in an attempt to gesticulate an Italian manner and shout:
“Why on earth aren’t they driving?” seeing an empty space a few cars ahead of me. “Shall I honk my horn to let them know that they are holding up the whole line of cars?”
Then I cool down. I see my son’s smiling face and hear his words from some years ago when I kept complaining about the slowness of this island, “You have to get used to this, Mom. Otherwise, it is better not to come back!”
“Ok”, I tell myself and take a deep breath, “I am back on my beloved Maui-Island! Why should I want to hurry? Do I have an important meeting to go to? No! Do I have to rush to the hospital because of an injury? No! Will I starve in the meantime? No! Does it matter if I cook dinner 15 or 30 minutes or even one hour later? No! Will Oliver and Naomi get mad at me when I come late? No!”
By now I have to smile. I was able to catch myself pretty early this time. Not bad! I then remember my first Yoga teacher who shared with her class her daily prayer: “Slow me down, Lord!” I have also repeated this prayer many times.
Now, whenever I get stuck in traffic or whenever all the traffic lights seem to be turning red, I have made it a habit of saying “thank you”. I say thank you for the time I am given to take a couple of deep breaths, to relax, and to slow down. It gives me the opportunity to come out of a hectic, already wanting-to-be-there attitude.
A little story from one of my dad’s clients comes to mind,
“You know, Mr. Pfister”, the client would tell my father, “whenever it is important that I be on time, like going to the airport, I tell my cab driver, ‘Drive slowly, please, I am in a hurry!’ It might surprise you. This way I arrive safely and I have never been late!”
With this memory, I say thank you once again. Thank you to God who presented me with this great ‘test sheet’ and to this stranger who is holding up traffic ahead of me. I can see now that he is talking to his friend on the sidewalk through the open car window.
I just received another wonderful lesson in patience!