Natalie, though much younger than me, is a long time friend of mine. We get together regularly. Even after I moved away and a two-hour car trip separated us, we still meet about once or twice a year.
Then came the Internet with all its conveniences. Natalie became a fan of Facebook. In the first euphoric phase, I also joined this network, not knowing that I would be stuck with it forever! Anyway, Natalie and I became Facebook friends. She started to send me videos, funny stories or pictures, quotes of famous people or comments on almost anything. This new toy fascinated me. For a while, I kept playing with it. Then people I did not know at all asked me to become their friend. “How did they know me”, I wondered.
One day I realized I was hooked in the Facebook system. I decided to quit. Now and then I open this account if someone I know well tells me they posted pictures they want to share with me. Nevertheless, Natalie and I kept in regular contact by visiting each other.
This year, however, things changed. I know Natalie works long hours, has a demanding job and needs to recuperate in her spare time. But before, she always managed a get-together with me despite her busyness. Now she claims she does not have time. I offered to drive out to see her, even if it was just for one hour, so we could see each other, but she said she needed the time for herself. I could not imagine what had changed in our relationship that she could no longer find time for our friendship.
Quite often I receive an email from Facebook stating:
Your friend Natalie has commented on…
Your friend Natalie is now a friend of…
Your friend Natalie has changed her profile…
Your friend Natalie has posted a new picture…
I became curious and opened these e-mails to see what Natalie was involved in. It was similar things as before: funny stories, quotes, pictures that would trigger your emotions, comments on someone else’s posting. Then, my eye fell on one line on the sidebar. It said, “4999 friends”!
Everything fell into place. I understood why Natalie was so busy. To keep up with four thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine friends does indeed take time! Reading all their comments, answering back, posting new stuff… She must spend hours in front of the computer. I looked at the pictures of her “friends.” They were of all ages, colors and ethnicities, from all over the world. I was amazed, even impressed. Wow!
Then, I became sad. What happened to our face-to-face friendship?
Lost to 4999 Facebook friends…