I could never imagine that a simple Colon Hydro Therapy session could replace psychotherapy!
For quite a number of years, I have been treating myself to regular cleansing sessions in the spring. Colon Hydro Therapy is one of them. Once again it is the time, during the descending moon cycle, and time to lay me on the couch of my Colon Hydro Therapist in Maui.
It is quite a procedure. But I know that I can tolerate the so-called open method a lot better than the closed one. In the open system, a constant stream of water flows up into the bowels in order to loosen old crusts of stool and transport it out. The water flows into all corners of the bowel in its most hidden parts and softens every bit of leftover stool, soaks it and eventually flushes it out. With this coming and going of water flooding my bowels, I can completely let go and relax.
This time, however, my experience seems different. Shelley, the therapist, we know each other from previous times, assumes, I remember the procedure.
She asks, “Do you have any questions?“
Since I say no, she leaves me on my own. For some reason, once she leaves the room I could have started to cry. I felt neglected, left alone, unloved.
After a few minutes, which feels like hours, Shelley comes back to check on me and asks, “Is everything okay?“ She gives me a compassionate look because she sees how miserable I feel.
Proud as I am, in a weak, tearful voice I answer, “Yes, everything is fine!“ Actually, everything is okay procedure wise. Inside of me, however, nothing is all right. But how can I or should I explain this to her?
I am so grateful that Shelley ignores my words and goes with what she senses. She stays with me and starts to gently massage my tummy with her warm soft hands. With that, I start to relax a bit. I keep telling myself that I am indeed not alone and also call all my guardian angels to come and stay with me. Nevertheless, I have cramps and I realize everything starting to contract in my stomach. Bravely I try to smile at Shelly. She puts an eye patch soaked with lavender oil on my eyes and turns on the music for my headphones. Then she quietly leaves the room.
With the sound of the indigenous drums and flute, changing to bird songs and the sound of ocean waves, I slowly drift off into my inner world. I don’t feel the table I lay on nor have I any perception of time. I am just floating through strange and foreign territory. Images of terrible faces pass in front of my eyes and I am horrified. Simultaneously I feel both guilty and ashamed. When the cramps seem to let go I feel greatly relieved. But soon enough, horrible images return and I fall into an endless abyss of anxiety. My whole body is contracting.
Each time I halfway realize where I am, I tell myself to let go. I tell myself that this is old stuff and that I now have the chance to let go and go through it. I feel a relief while my bowels release this old crusted stool. I heave a sigh of relief and take a deep breath. I know there is still more to go as I plunge deeper and deeper into my psyche. After each water-infused irrigation, another level of old crusted material flushes out. With it, old stirred up memories from ancient times leave as well. The moments of relief become longer and longer, and I actually start to welcome and look forward to the next wave of contraction. I know it is what is needed and that whatever leaves now, will be gone forever. The frightening pictures, voices and feelings come and go so fast that I have no time to remember them, which is good because I don’t need to hold on to them. It is enough to know that this is old stuff, time to let it go! Ready for transformation! What a relief!
I vaguely hear Shelley come and go as she checks on me. I stay in my own world, drowsy. I hear her say that my time is up but that since she has no next client, I can stay as long as I want. I am grateful because whenever I think this cramp is the last, there is another one soon to follow.
Finally, I emerge and come up from a deep, deep journey. It is time to finish this extraordinary session. I remove my eye patches, turn off the music and become present. Only a short hour has passed since I lay myself on this table, but it seems that all the cruelties I saw, endured or caused at one time, had passed by my inner eyes. I allow myself to rest for a few more moments.
Shelley enters the room and asks, “How do you feel?“
Still a little dazed I reply, “Wonderful.“
We look at each other. Shelley smiles and understandingly seems to know what I have gone through, without any need of my telling her. I am glad I don’t have to explain myself. Indeed, I feel newly born, freed and relieved of so many layers of old, no-longer-needed old used stuff and garbage.
How grateful I am to this little stream of water that constantly and persistently, unimpressed by my feelings, worked its way up my bowels to loosen and soften these old crusts, doing its job not only on the physical body but my emotional one as well. What a special psychotherapy session!